While being interviewed recently to lead an upcoming women’s event, I was asked what sort of questions are being raised by the women that I have coached? Are there recurrent themes? Yes. Here are some of them:
- Is that all there is? Life has to be more than what
- I seem to be devoid of passion about anything.
- Life is just too busy, too harried to take the time to stop, think, reflect, change.
- How do I break out of this whirlwind? How do I make sense of things?
- Why does life have to be so hard? Everything seems to be a struggle.
- It seems like I take two steps forward, and then step backward into a hole again.
Negative, self-defeating talk:
- Negative thoughts about one’s self —this will never work, I just can’t do it, I’m too ugly, overweight, undisciplined, stupid, etc.
The life transition / the subtle nudge to move forward:
- Something is nudging me to change, to move forward, to transition. Yet I have no idea as to what, when, why or where.
- I feel so disconnected—like I don’t belong or identify with this work or place anymore.
- How do I know whether this is the right path I should be taking? What else should I be doing?
Becoming the best I can be:
- I’m successful; I love what I do but I know I can do more, be more, become even more fulfilled.
- How can I be the best leader I can be?
- Successfully combining family and career can be difficult. How do successful professional women combine family and career so that there is coherence, balance and achievement?
All of the above statements are reflective of the individual “becoming aware”. Noticing is the first step! Some are consciously wanting to break out of what I call “chrysalis paralysis”. For some, there is a recognition that life isn’t unfolding well and that something has to change—but one feels “stuck— almost paralyzed”. Others know that things are in disharmony and chaotic, yet refuse to stop and examine why or how to break the patterns, the self- imposed prisons, that are limiting one’s life. For others, there is a clear sense of knowing—there is a stimulus to be open to a new change, to gather strength, to find one’s voice and move forward, albeit perplexed by the ambiguity of it all. While some are stuck inside their chrysalis, others
responsibly and trustingly move forward and emerge as the butterfly. Why is that?
I’m reminded of the (often-noted) universal law of attraction. What you say and what you think really do matter. Life agrees with everything you think, say and believe. What you fill your mind with—your life is full of. You attract into your life what you think about. Life agrees with you and will show you just how right you are! There is power in your expectations, your thoughts, your words. So why not set high expectations—think them, dream them, speak them, live them?
In Joel Osteen’s latest best-selling book, Your Best Life Now (©2004, Warner-Faith), he witnesses for God, sharing that God has much good in store for us. He notes that “speaking life- changing words”, “enlarging your vision”, “raising your level of expectancy” and “choosing the right thoughts” are just some of the important steps for living at your full potential. [Have you noticed the actual words that are coming from your own mouth lately? Of what are you complaining? bemoaning? belittling? Are your own words inviting more chaos and disharmony?]
Deepak Chopra shares (in his books on individual development) that the empowerment we seek is already available to us. He notes that Conscious Awareness equals Intention (setting and maintaining high intentions and expectations) plus Attention (the doing part—that is, the actions that we “attend to” that support the intention). Conscious awareness is much more than “wishful thinking” about how our lives might be. There is a conscious and personal responsibility to choose to make this shift. (Awareness = Intention + Attention).
As a personal, life and executive coach, I enjoy helping people create the space for choosing personal growth and development, for turning on one’s inner light.
Using the metaphor of “Lights On!”—
- If you are journeying through life with your personal light dimmed by negativity…
- If you are unable to envision (shine a light on) the future you want because you are too harried to stop and reflect…
- If you know you are being nudged into a life transition yet it seems so unclear…
…then it is time to consciously shift to using your high beam headlights…all the time!
Most successful, professional women, including those who combine family and career…
- hold clear intentions; they take time to renew them daily.
- they envision their future; they are principle-based leaders.
- they prepare for, and are open to their future unfolding;
- they are able to discern what is important and what is not so that what they “attend to” connects to their higher expectations.
- While they are organized, they do not micromanage; they trust; they can live with ambiguity; they are open to being surprised; their eyes are open; they have high awareness.
When you shift your thinking to higher intention, you attract that into your life. It is a conscious choice.
You can shift today!
In mid-life, the caterpillar attaches itself to a protected place while it undergoes a transformation into a chrysalis. The butterfly that emerges has a whole new life in a very different, exciting form.
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